You Mean You Can Stop It!!
Lil Gal and I have always had our time alone. It’s worked out that way because Big Brother was either running track, playing football, or doing other things that required us to retrieve him hours after her activities were finished. These alone times leave me in a quandary on whether to act like an adult or fall out laughing like a teenager because she has a very active mind.
This week, while waiting at the doctor’s office for some routine tests, a commercial came on television. The lady casually talked about the difficulties she was having with menopause. Now, I’ve had the reproductive talk with Lil Gal but I guess I hadn’t taken the conversation far enough. With a rather lax tone to her voice, she looked over and asked, “What’s menopause?” I am feeling rather relaxed too, so I replied, “When your cycle stops?” If I were a Hollywood movie producer, the transformation would have gone something like this…
Bright lights flashing across the room illuminating Lil Gal and I in bright shades of sea foam blue, indigo, purple, yellow, and red. Alicia Key’s, “This Girl is on Fire” would play with a perfect beat mix to Chaka Kahn’s, “I’m Every Woman.” Gorgeous teenage boys would carry bouquets of multi-colored roses while running into the room to lift us both into the air. As soon as they began lowering us, bunny rabbits and white tigers laying on the ground would surround us to cuddle us in a comfy pillow of fur.
All of this would occur in the split second that she bolted out of her criss-cross applesauce seating position to full attention and yelled, “What, YOU CAN STOP IT!” She asked me as if to say, You mean to tell me, you’ve had me going through these back pains and leg cramps for NOTHING. At this point, the Hollywood Director would have the bunnies and tigers jump up abruptly causing our heads to hit the concrete floors. The rose petals would fall away and blow away with the boys who just evaporated. All of her dreams dashed because I fell out laughing instead of saying, “Yes, love, you can stop it.”
Her question of “What, YOU CAN STOP IT!” was innocent enough for a young teenager. But what about adults? When you are in a bad situation, do you realize that you have that option – TO STOP IT? – far unlike a teenage girl with her cycle. Or do you, instead, act like a teenage girl who has another 50 or so years to deal with her cycle. In saying you can stop it, you realize that would mean you must hold yourself accountable for your outcomes? This is not a novel idea but in this age, many look to others for confirmation and direction. They feel bound in situations – relationships, jobs, etc – and helpless to make adjustments that would improve their situation. In looking for other people to blame for their misfortune, the accountability is no longer on the person complaining (which is a shameful misstep). If you choose to stay in a situation, you lose the right to complain. Complaining is like anger, it only hurts the person who stays in that zone.