When Daughters Hate Their Fathers

10 April 2013
10 April 2013, Comments: Comments Off on When Daughters Hate Their Fathers

At my Goddaughter’s baby dedication ceremony, the attending preacher asked that the father hold the baby and sing Stevie Wonder’s song, “You Are So Beautiful.”  Eventually, the congregation joined in and sang to the beautiful little girl. The father was instructed to love her so that he is the first man that makes her feel special. It was a charge to him to sacrificially parent her so that she does not feel like a bother or an afterthought. When daughters can look at their fathers and see the spirit of God, they are prepared to conquer the world. What happens to make a daughter hate her father?  My first response is to psychologically analyze the situation and assess a couple of different areas.  Did he spend enough time with her? How did he treat her mother? What was the discipline like in the household? Was he truly a father in how he treated her and how he conducted himself?

She can depend on him for certain things, but what is it she can depend on? Can she depend on him:  to take care of the household; to be around in the good and the bad times; to treat her and her mother like angels; to do things for the family even when he prefers to do something else?  Or can she depend on him to run women, use drugs, rampage with cursing fits, lay around on the sofa, and let the household operate in chaos?

When a daughter hates her Father it creates a void in her that festers and breeds pain and sorrow.  Sometimes, it is years before she realizes what is actually happening to her, if it is recognized at all.  Hating a father sets up an undeclared and clandestine expedition to secure someone who, or something that, will fill the void.  But it’s a wound.  If the wound is not cleaned out first, bringing supplies will not heal the wound.  Supplies such as overeating, promiscuity, anger, codependency, shopping, drugs, etc.  will not heal the wound.

A purifying is necessary to clean the wound.  This is where I move from the psychological analysis to a spiritual analysis.  Satan is like a shark in the ocean…when he smells blood, he goes in for the attack regardless of how long it takes to catch the prey.  In a wounded state, a daughter is tasty prey to Satan.  He knows what she is searching for; unconditional love, security, honesty, independence, and peace.   He makes all of those aforementioned supplies attractive as if they can provide her the things she should have received from her father.   God’s word purifies the wounded, including the daughter whose father opted to raise her outside of God’s fold.  Seeking God and the truth of His word is the purification needed to heal the wounds, “All who have this hope in him purify themselves, just as he is pure.” Instead of spending time on the hate and the chaos of being wounded by a neglectful or abusive father, time on forgiveness and peace are needed to prepare for the blessings God has for the wounded daughter.  God knows exactly what is being sought.  But a daughter who is in fear and running from the shark, has a clouded vision in the mucky water of despair.  She has to reach for the pure water that will calm and cleanse her and protect her from the shark.  God’s pure water is the victor over Satan’s mucky water.  When daughters hate their fathers, a cleansing is necessary to heal their wounds.   The cleansing to reveal the healed and refreshed daughter of God that He intended her to be from the very start!

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