Time’s Up for Insecurities: High School

Time's Up for Insecurities: High School

I don’t know about you but high school was a bowl of insecurities for me. By second semester of my freshman year, I was riding a bus 45 minutes away from my neighborhood to attend magnet classes alongside kids from neighborhoods all over Dallas. I was a semester behind because I attempted to attend the neighborhood school and that did not go too well. That’s a story for another day.

The school across town had almost 4000 students from every demographic you can imagine. While it was exciting, it was very intimidating. I had grown accustomed to being one of the smartest kids in whatever school I attended, to being popular, and to being able to shine. And while I later learned this was not the case, it looked like every African-American kid there had money. They were so stylish in the latest outfits and hairstyles that my wardrobe of five new outfits for freshman year was significantly below what I saw my peers wearing.

I’d calculated that I could catch up with the work by working a little extra at the library near my home every day after school. What I was unable to figure out was the style factor because that required something I did not have at my disposal, money. My part-time job in Wynnewood helped pay for the magazines I loved reading and my allowance helped me to buy the latest music. Not nearly enough to buy the name brand clothes I saw down the halls of this elite school. It was just a challenge that had me struggling with self-doubt.

And as with most high school girls, there was a boy I liked who was not paying the least amount of attention to me.

About a month into the semester, I read a magazine article about self-confidence. The confident lady said you need to believe you had it within you to be powerful.

Even though I was working on a plan to boost my wardrobe and my style, I decided on that Sunday before the next school week that I was going to believe that I could compete with the other students. I was going to believe I was smart enough to achieve my high grades again. I was going to believe that I was pretty enough to date whomever I wanted to date. And that I belonged in that school.

And that’s what I did before school, during school, and after school and it helped to ease my anxieties. About two weeks later, when an upperclassman stopped me in the stairwell and complimented me, it shocked me so bad that I toppled the books in my hand,

“Looking good lil bit.”

“What, what did you say?”

“Yeah, did you get a haircut or something? Something is different!”

“No, I didn’t get a haircut,” I said as I snactched my books and ran upstairs.

When I slammed down in my desk in the next class, I couldn’t help but smile in victory to myself. I was wearing the same clothes, had the same haircut, and was having the same struggles to catch up in class. The only thing that had changed was my belief in myself to excel.

What would change for you if you believed in yourself beyond your insecurities?